Oh Maura, what have you done
by Maggi98Sashanista
Summary: So, There's been ALOT of trouble getting the pieces of the fanfic. I have managed to controle the problems now. Triggering Self Harm. Anyways, Maura finds herself doing something really bad, in her bathroom. Email:
1. Chapter 1

RIZZOLI AND ISLES.

Maura sat in the bathroom floor. Besides her, was the razor. Shiny and Silver. Maura was shaking as she took it up. Stretched up her sleeve. She could feel the razors coldness. It felt so good. The thin blade slicing slowly and deep through her skin. One. She breathed and was shaking even more. Two. She dropped the razor on the floor. Was it someone in her house?

She went out of the bathroom and tip-toed over the wooden floor. The fridge door was open. Probably Angela, she thought. Even her legs were shaking. She didn't realize that the blood had started dripping on the white, soft carpet. The fridge door closed, and a woman in a bathrobe was seen. Angela. Maura breathed out, and started to walk back to the bathroom. 'Maura!' Angela shouted 'Maura you are bleeding!' Fuck, thought Maura. She grabbed her arm a little to fast and hard. She tried not to cry. As she turned around to Angela, which stood there with band aid. 'Maura, are you okay?' Angela asked. 'It's just a little cut'. I'll be fine'. Maura answered. Angela grabbed the bloody arm carefully. Maura felt the tears coming. A tear rolled down her left cheek, but she wiped it off. 'How did his happen?' Angela asked her, looking straight into her eyes. 'It was an accident.' Maura replied almost starting to cry. She didn't look up, not once. She went back to the bathroom to clean up the blood on the arm. More tears rolled down her cheek.

MEANWHILE IN DIVISION ONE CAFÈ.

'Have a good day, and thank you for choosing division One cafe for your place of eating!' Angela said as she handed out the wellness dish of the month. She saw Maura and Jane was heading up to the cafe. 'Ma, two coffee's. ' Jane asked. 'Instant for Jane, and Maura?' 'I'll take my special'. Maura tried once again to smile. Jane went to the coffee maker, and made her coffee as usual. Angela bend over the counter, and looked into Maura's eyes. 'About last night.. What happened to you?' 'Angela, I told you. It was an accident.' Angela looked worried. Maura could see that. 'Maura.' 'Is it something you want to tell me?' Then Jane came up. 'Ma, what's going on?' Maura looked at Angela. Angela looked back. 'Don't tell her' was written all over the ME's face. Angela knew something was wrong. 'It's nothing' -Go back to work. Everything's fine. ' Angela replied.

AT THE AUTOPSY.

Maura was sitting in her chair. She was wearing long sleeves. Thinking about the old times. When she was younger.

_Maura's Flashback: _

'MAURA THE BORA' A group of girls shouted at a mini Maura's face.

Tiny Maura ran home. Locked herself in the room. She was all alone. Her father was in the army. And her mother was at a shopping spree in LA.

She sat in front off her desk. Opened her drawer, picked up the piece of glass. Ran it through her skin.

_Back in real life. _

Maura lifted her sleeve. Ran her fingers through the old scars. Then Jane came in. 'We got a new body Maura.' The blond went over to the autopsy table. She put on her gloves as she started to undress the body. 'Looks like about 12 years old. ' 'Oh my gosh. That's a tragedy ' Jane said as she held her hand before her mouth started to shake. As Maura took of the dead girl's jacket. She frowned. Deep scars. Maura took a step back. Went forward, then lifted the twelve year old's arm. 'Oh my god' Maura mumbled. 'What is it?' Jane closed the file of information about the girl, and went over to Maura. 'Maura wha-.' Now Jane saw them. 'Maura, wh-what is that?' Maura was unable to answer, an only let out a sigh.

'Scars..' Maura took off her gloves, went over to her desk and put up her phone. 'Maura?' Jane went after her. 'I'm calling Dr. Pike. ' -I cant handle this autopsy'. '..So you are going to leave it to some old pedophile who turns his back to you' 'Jane, he's not a necrophilia.' -Voice Mail.' Maura slammed the phone down. 'Hey, Maura relax. ' Jane was surprise to see Maura so confused. She was a Lady, she used to have anything under control. Maura went out of her office. Angela whom was cleaning the counter, saw Maura rushing out. Maura pushed the door open. Went to her blue Lexus car, and drove away. She drove home. It was to many memories. Maura felt weak. She felt so selfish. Leaving Jane with that dead body, calling Dr. Pike to do the autopsy for her. She locked up her door. Going strait to the bathroom. Opened the 3rd drawer to the right. Lifted on the towels. The Razor. She thought she was over with this habit. Apparently not.

She repeated the same last action. Only deeper cuts. Five deep cuts. Then she went to her bed laying curled up, leaving blood marks on her sheets. Big blood marks.

**Oh my god! what will happen to Maura!?**

**end of chapter 1. **


	2. Chapter 2

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

Jane was still waiting for Maura, before she started to worry. She tried to call her. She didn't pick up. Then she went over to Angela. 'Ma, have you seen Maura?' 'I saw her boost out of here.' Angela didn't look so calm either. 'What happened last night, Ma?' Angela looked down, scratched herself in the hair. 'Well..' It was silence between the daughter and mother. 'I was getting some midnight snack, when Maura stood besides the dining table.' Angela made eye-contact, then looked down to finish the sentence. 'Her wrist where bloody' -She said it was an accident.' Then Jane left, and drove to Maura's place.

MAURA'S PLACE

Jane knocked open the door. Maura! She shouted. Jane was terrified. She ran into Maura's room and turned on the light. Maura was sleeping. Jane rushed to her and dragged off her blanket. She jumped back when she saw Maura's sheet and wrist. It was bloody. She could see stained blood on the carpet. Then she shacked Maura. 'Maura!' Maura slowly opened her eyes. 'J-jhane..' 'Maura! What happened!?' -Maura! Stay awake'. 'It was only an accident' Maura sleepily said. Jane turned her around, and smacked her face. Not hard. But only so she could wake up. Maura raised up quickly. 'Jane!' Jane breathed out in relief. 'Jane, what's going on?' Then she saw her own bloody arm. 'Jane, I swear. It was an accident.' Now Maura started to cry. Jane was shocked, and didn't understand what was going on. She took her Best Friend, and hugged her tight. 'Maura. I need you to tell me what really happened'. Jane wasn't sure of what to say, other than that her mind stood still.

After Maura cleaned up her stained blood, she and Jane sat by her dining table. Maura hadn't yet fixed herself. 'So Maura, what happened?' And we also have to talk about yesterday. ' Jane waited, patient. She couldn't wait for Maura to answer. She wanted to know what was wrong. 'Why did you leave the autopsy?' As minutes passed away, Jane got impatient.'Maura?' Maura looked up to Jane's eyes. 'When.. When I was younger.' She paused. ' I was very weak' Jane stretched her arm over to Maura's. She held it. 'I was bullied, and was called names' '" I didn't know how to show my feelings, so I.. I started to pinch myself. Which lead to purging. I purged until I got hickeys. When I became twelve years.. I started..' Maura wiped away her tears. 'I started cutting my wrists.' 'It was only then I could feel relief in my sole.' Jane also started to cry a little. 'Maura.. I didn't know..' 'The self harm got bad. Really bad..' Then, when I got older, i stopped..' It was a quiet moment. They both took a time to wipe away there tears. '.. But Maura.. Why. Why did you start again?' Jane tried. She regret the answer right after she questioned it. 'I..' Maura started to cry. For real. 'Oh, Maura.. ' It will get better.!' 'I started cutting again.. Because I missed the feeling of the razor slicing through my skin..'

Jane lifted up Maura's sleeve. Deep new scars were to be seen. The Old one's were faded. But they were still there.. 'Does anybody else know about this?' Maura swallowed. 'I think your mother know..' Jane looked down. Then up.. 'Where is it?' Maura lowered her eyebrows in confusion. 'Where is what' Maura said, raising up from the chair, following Jane. ' 'The piece of glass' Jane looked around. 'Piece of glass?' 'Yes Maura! ' Jane shouted now. 'Maura! You are stronger than this!' Maura looked shocked. 'Jane, I don't own a piece off glass.' 'MAURA! YOU SAID YOU HAD CUT YOURSELF WITH A PIECE OF GLASS!' Jane turned around, now Maura was in shock. She had never heard Jane shout. And she didn't want to either. But now the cop was shouting at her.

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! :) That really made my day. Send me a PM about tips to the story. It's unusual, but hey. It's a fan fiction. **


	3. Chapter 3

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

_But now the cop was shouting at her..._

Maura stood there helpless. Jane was shouting at her. In her own home. Now Maura got furious. Jane could see that. Maura crossed her arms. 'You come in to my house, and i open myself up to you.' Jane turned around, and sighed. 'And then you start shouting to me?!' Now Maura was angry. Real Angry. And by that sentence Jane lifted her arms, went over to the door opened it and slammed it. Maura jumped when she heard the door slam, then opened the door again to run after Jane. Now they were standing in the middle of the pavement. 'Jane! Come back here!' Now Jane stopped. 'Maura. I tried to help you.' Maura stopped for a second. '

What? Shouting will not help me. And a lecture of something I'll never will be able to understand only makes it worse'. Maura almost cried at the last word. Now Jane was tired. 'Maura. I'm only trying to help you'. Jane almost gave up. But Maura was her best friend. She didn't want to give her up. 'I know, and I appreciate that, but it's hard, Jane!' Now people have started to stare at them. 'Maura. Just remember. I will be here for you! ' Jane grabbed Maura's Arms. They looked each other

in their eyes. Then hugged. The people which were staring, started clapping.

'Maura, you should get dressed' Maura bit her lips let go off Jane's arms and crossed them.'Well, I kind off..' Jane smiled. Then Maura took Jane's right arm. 'I kind off need help..' Maura smiled as she dragged Jane inside her luxurious house.

IN THE AUTOPSY ROOM

Maura was examining the 12 year old body. She couldn't look at the scars. It was too difficult. But all she could think of now, was Jane. And her warm body. Tight into her body. She smiled. When she was interrupted by Jane, Frost and Frankie. Maura turned around. 'Oh! I'm so glad you came.' Jane put her hands at her hips. Smiling to Maura. Maura smiled back, as she took off her gloves. Frankie and Frost looked at each other. 'Ladies?' Reality snapped back to them. 'Sorry. ' Maura answered. 'So, I have done some research and it shows that this girl was strangled.' She shows them the strangle marks. When suddenly Maura's sleeve stretches up. She fast pulls it back down, feeling the adrenalin pump through her veins. She breathed. 'And this marks, is burn marks.' Maura had calmed down. 'Well, I better go now, Frankie and Frost. Korsak wants us upstairs. He found something.' Jane and Frankie goes upstairs. 'Frost?' Jane looked back directly to Frost. 'I'll be there in a minute. ' Frost kept looking at the girls arm. Jane and Frankie hurried upstairs to talk to Korsak, while they left -surprisingly- Frost with Maura. 'Is everything OK Frost?' Maura looked up to see that Frost was staring at the victims arm. 'Is that.. Self harm scars?' Frost pointed at the dead arm. 'I.. I believe so. ' Maura started. 'Can I take a closer look?' Maura nodded as she lifted up the dead body's arm. Maura's sleeve went up again. Now her scars came to sight. She didn't realize it herself, until..

**What will happen next. The next chapter will come next year. Lol, nope just kidding. It will come out probably tomorrow or Monday. Haha. Don't judge the history. I'm only fourteen. **


	4. Chapter 4

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

_Until.._

Maura's sleeve went up, but she didn't realize it until one of her fresh scars popped open. Maura grabbed her arm, while dropping the dead body's arm on the table. She left out a little winch, as she grabbed her arm. 'Doc, are you okay?' Frost asked holding Maura's shoulder. 'It's just .. cramps.' Maura started to get pale. 'Dr. Isles, you don't look so good..' Maura swallowed. She was feeling dizzy. She knew exactly what it was. When the fresh scar popped open, she felt it. The feeling of missing the razor dig beneath her skin. 'I got to go home..' Maura went back to her office, grabbed her purse, and once again left the building.

AT MAURAS

It was five o'clock PM and Maura thought she was home alone. She had put a band-aid over her popped up scar, and she was drinking wine. Maura was barefoot, and in a t-shirt. Besides her as -again- the razor. She waited a while to get straight to the cutting. She wanted to enjoy the look of the silver Gillette razor. She was laying in her couch. On her left side there were paper towels. She knew if Jane found out about this, she would be in trouble. She picked it up. Drank the last wine that was left in the bottle. And started. The Razor made it way from left, to the right. It felt good. She didn't realize it, but everything started fading, and then... She fell asleep.

Angela POV

Angela was making her way to Maura's house to get some green tea. She was waiting for her drink to finish heating up, when she saw Maura on the couch. 'Hey, Maura? Do you want some tea?' She didn't get any answer. Then she saw something shiny laid between the carpet. 'Maura, I think you dropped something. '

Nor again, she didn't get any answers. She went over to Maura, to pick up the silver thing which reflected in the daylight. Then she saw Maura, she was sleeping. Angela jumped when she saw the blood, the bottle of wine which was laying on the floor splinted into pieces of glass. 'Maura?' Angela questioned with a shaky voice, as she picked up the silver object reviling to be a.. a razor. When Angela noticed it was a razor, she once again dropped it at the floor, glancing over to see Maura unconscious on the couch. She saw the scars. She checked Maura's pulse. The pulse was pounding slowly. Angela picked up her phone, and dialed 911. 'My friend is on the couch! She has a pulse, but she won't wake up!' -'I think.. I think she may have cut herself with a razor!' Angela said to the lady which answered her call. Her voice was shaky, but steady.

IN BOSTON POLICE DEPARTMENT

'Korsak, I think we got our murderer.' Jane said. 'The blonde Chinese guy?' Korsak laughed a little. 'Why are you laughing?' Jane looked directly at Korsak. It had been a long day, and Jane was tired of Korsaks jokes. 'I'm laughing because that Chinese guy, was the male version of Hello Kitty.' Jane laughed too, when she answered her ringing phone. 'Rizzoli?' Jane lowered her eyebrows, as she picked up her jacket. 'What?!' Frost and Korsak looked worried at each other. 'I'll be there'. 'What was that?' Frost asked Jane. 'It's Maura, she's in the hospital'. Jane answered as she ran out and started her car.

**So Maura didn't listen to Jane? How will this end? Will Jane be angry because she trusted Maura? But most important, what will happen? **

**Thanks for the reviews! It made my month! I love writing, and especially when someone enjoys reading it! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

Jane POV

Jane was running through the hospital hallways, searching for Maura. Jane was anxious, she was breathing heavily as she ran. 'I'm looking for Maura Isles.' Said Jane, almost jumping over the counter. 'What is she laid in for? ' the brunette said, looking trough her files. Janes mind stood still. What was Maura laid in for? Ma never told me? Jane thought, but responder with an 'uhm'. 'Cant you just give me the room number from her name?' Jane continued fast. 'I'm afraid I can't do that, miss'. Jane couldn't think of what to say. 'Well, if I were related to her?' The nurse looked up from her files. 'Whats your name?' She continued the conversation. 'Jane Isles' Jane answered quick. 'I need to see closer information. Like a drivers licence. ' the nurse said. Jane pulled up her badge, and drivers license. 'Rizzoli' the nurse said, she dragged her glasses down, and glanced up to Jane. 'We are.. Engaged. ' Jane lied. 'I am going to change my drivers license soon. And of corse.. My badge to. ' the nurse studied Jane. Then opened a few files. 'Hmm.. Maura Isles. Could it be Maura Dorthea Isles? ' Jane grinned, but held her hand in front of her mouth. 'Yes'. She closed her files . 'Shes in room 197' as Jane heard the number, she ran. Ran as fast as she could. Then she found it, room 197. She opened the door, seeing an unconscious, white Maura. Flowers on the table besides her. Doctors talking to doctors. Angela besides her, crying.

Jane quietly walked over to her best friend. Covered her mouth, crying.

Then the doctors came over to Jane. 'Miss Rizzoli,' Angela looked up. 'She will be out In any minute' Angela hugged the doctor, so did Jane. The cop went over to Maura. 'Maura I'm so sorry I yelled at you..' She stroke the ME's forehead. 'When will she wake up?' Jane looked back at the doctor. 'She's only sleeping, so. I'm not sure. ' the doctor left.

8 hours later

Maura woke up on her bed, rubbing her eyes, she looked at her watch, then she saw her arm. It was a bandage on it. She slowly unwrapped the bandage, while she sat straight up in her bed. She dropped the bandage on the floor, seeing eight stitched scars. She ran her fingers over the stitches. She couldn't remember anything from last night. She entered her flawless living room, only dressed in a tank top and her panties. Angela was sitting on her couch, and Jane was standing next to the coffee machine. Jane sat her coffee cup down, and hurried over to Maura placing one arm on the ME's shoulder. 'Maura, how are you feeling?' Jane tried. Then Angela came up to the two women's. 'Maura, you scared me.' It was silence. Until Jane couldn't take the silence anymore. 'Maura, do you remember.. Anything?' Maura shook her head, in another way to say 'No'. Jane held her hand on to Maura's shoulder. 'Maura, I thought you were over this'. Maura looked down. 'Wait, Jane, Maura. What's going on.?' Angela broke in to the conversation. 'I found you passed out on the couch yesterday..' Angela looked worried.


	6. Chapter 6

RIZZOLI & ISLES

Maura grabbed her stitched arm, and Angela leaded them over to sit down at the couch. ''Maura, what is going on with you?'' Angela asked, worried. ''Angela, I.. I. ''. Maura raised herself from the couch. Looked down. ''It.. It's complicated..'' She said, while she kept looking down, finding her way back to the bedroom. Coming out dressed, still silent, in shock. ''I got to go for work..'' Maura wasn't sure what was going on.

- Okay, I'm sure you guy's is all like; What...?-

Anyways.

AT THE BOSTON PD

Maura entered her workplace, trying to smile. As a group of four girls around 12 or 13 gathered around her. ''Are you Dr. Isles?'' The first girl asked, chewing her gum. Maura smiled at her, weirdly. ''Uhm. Yes, I am Dr. Isles, nice to meet you!' Maura shook the girls arm. ''We have been asked to go with you to observe for our exam project. '' Same girl, she kept chewing her gum. ''You know I am a Medical Examiner..?''. The girls sighed. At least the one with the gum did. ''A what?'' The gum-girl asked. The a shy girl stepped out, saying; ''A medical examiner, is a Pathologist that works on dead bodies, that may or may not have died in unknown circumstances.'' Maura was surprised. ''That's exactly right! God job!''. The gum-girl pushed her out of the way. ''Can we come with you now? Just to get this over with`?'' Maura was a tiny bit annoyed by this bubblegum chewer. ''I will need parents, and teachers permission'' Maura said, as they started to wave a paper slip in-front of her.

IN THE AUTOPSY

Maura covered the body again, as she talked about when the human heart stop pumping blood short time after death. ''So, I think we will have lunch now. Mrs. Rizzoli have made some lunch kits for you " Maura smiled as she went over to the trash can to trash her gloves, and washed her hands. Then turned around to the shy girl, she was sitting all alone. The other ones had gone up stairs. ''Why aren't you upstairs?'' Maura asked. The girl raised her shoulders. ''I don't want to.' She said, shyly. Maura took off her lab-coat. She didn't realize that she just wore a short armed dressed. And her stitched scars came to sight. The girl just covered her mouth. Maura saw that. ''Is it something wrong?'' She asked the girl. The girl just pointed at Maura's arm. Maura looked down at her arm. ''Uhm. '' The girl followed Maura with her eyes, as Maura picked up her lab coat, covering her wrist. ''I, uhm. I scratched my arm really bad.'' The ME tried to lie. The girl shook her head. ''No..'' She replied. Maura looked confused at her. ''You didn't scratch yourself up,'' The girl continued with. Maura stepped back as the girl came up to her. ''Dr. Isles, you have a problem.'' The girl said. ''Excuse me?'' Maura said back. No suddenly the shy girl has become the annoying and sort of creepy one. ''You lied, and I know exactly what happened.'' The girl kept pointing at her arm. Maura was a tiny bit furious. The girl hugged her. Maura felt like she was in a soap opera. ''It's going to be fine'' She took the girl closer to her, and held her tight.

**This is probably the most hardest and meaningless chapter I have ever written. Lol, I didn't know how to write it. But in the next one, I will have a surprise. Stay tuned, and sorry for the waiting. **


	7. Chapter 7

RIZZOLI AND ISLES FANFICTION

Maura kept hugging the little girl, but had to let go. She knew she had to tell her that talking to people this way was not right. She slowly let go. "Look, you can't talk to people like this." The girl looked down. "How do you know about these things?" The girl shook her head, "erm, My.." Maura looked the girl I'm here eyes. "..nevermind" Some of the other girls came in. "Hey, loser" said the girl who constantly kept chewing her gum. Maura looked at them with an angry look. Her gum dropped. Maura hugged the girl as she went over to go with the other girls. Maura started to pack her things up before she went home.

AT MAURA'S

Maura locked her car, and went over to the door to find it surprisingly .. Open. "Jane?" No response were given back. She slowly went into her house, closing the door behind her. She suddenly heard a scream that made her whole body shiver in shock. "Goaaaal!" The blonde relaxed. It was the familiar voice of a familiar Jane Rizzoli watching football. "Your home early." A strict voice said. Maura turned around to see a not smiling Mrs Rizzoli. "Angela.." Maura tried. "Maura, we need to talk about this morning." Maura felt light headed. "Sit down" Angela continued. Jane came over, and sat next to her mother. "Maura." The ME nodded. "This may sound weird." Maura's body started to shake a little. "Drag up your sleeves." Angela said with a little stutter in her voice among with the tears. Maura slowly started to drag up her sleeves. A tear rolled down her cheek. The scars came to sight. The old and the new. She dragged up the other sleeve. Maura's arms were covered in scars. Red, deep scars. Angela covered her mouth. "Oh my gosh, Maura.." She mumbled. "Why did you do this?" Angela was nerveous, so was Maura. Then She starter to tell why, and how and when. The same story She told Jane.

Angela just sat in tears. So did everyone around here. "Oh Maura, I didn't know..!" It was a comfortable silence in the room. Maura stood up from the chair, wiped her tears away. "Im just going to Get a shower." And the blond left the room.

ONE HOUR LATER

"I had no Idea that Maura did these things to herself." Angela said. "Where is Maura?" Angela stopped crying . " I think she's in the bathroom, showering. " Jane replied' going to the bathroom. She knocked lightly on the door. "Maura?" "Are you okay?" No response was given.

Maura POV

Maura went crying in to the bathroom, as she found her relief to the razor. She knew this couldn't go on, but instead of deep cuts, she made at least 15 new small ones. Small enough to leave scars. Blood came out.

Maura couldn't focus. She was extremely relaxed. She heard several knocks on the door, and that made her stand up in her knee lengthened towel. It was Jane, Maura looked down at her bleeding arm. How long has she been in here? One hour!? Jane kept pounding on the door. "What is it?" Maura asked. "I-I just wondered if you were okay." Jane continued. "I'm fine" Maura answered. She heard Jane footsteps get more quiet. Maura felt dizzy. In her head, there was voices that said; 'your worthless' 'you are ugly' and 'you don't deserve to live' 'you're fat' followed by more.. Maura felt the urge to make the cuts deeper. She was ugly, she didn't deserve to live. That's what she thought. Without thinking, she washed her hands and stopped the bleeding, got dressed and went out to Jane and Angela. She slightly smiled when she went out of her house. "I'm just heading out to Walmart to get.. Um.. Tampons." Maura's excuse did work all though Jane thought to herself that something was wrong. "That's probably why she was so long in the bathroom" Angela laughed a little . But Jane was still worried . "I have to go home, watch Maura for me please" Jane said to her mother. Angela nodded.

AT THE DIRTY ROBBER.

Maura Isles. Drunk. Who would have thought that. Even Maura knew she had to much to drink. She looked at the watch. Almost tree o'clock ? She had been sitting there for almost five hours. A guy came up to her. "Hey sweetheart" he tried. Maura turned around. "Ian?" She smiled as she jumped into his arms and kissed him.

NEXT MORNING

Maura woke up, rolled around and saw her boyfriend lying next to her. "Hey" was all Maura could say. Ian just looked at her. Smiling. "Hey gorgeous" he smiled and Maura snuggled into is chest, and Ian laid his arms around her and rested his head on hers. "I've missed you" Ian continued while kissing her head. Maura just nodded. Maura looked at the clock. "Shit, I'm late for work,!" Maura said, rushing out of bed. Ian just smiled at the little woman. Running around.

AT THE OFFICE, BOSTON PD.

Maura sat in her office chair, rubbing gently at her temple. She was interrupted by Jane coming in. "Hey, wanna g-" Jane just looked at Maura. "Maura, are you okay?" Jane went over to the blonde. "Jane.." Jane begun to get worried. "Jane, I'm having.. I'm having a hangover" Jane smiled then she started to laugh. "What's funny?" Maura gave here the death glare. "Well, um, I thought it was something really bad. By the way, Ma told me you didn't come home until at least four o clock?" Jane questioned. "Jane, you shouldn't worry about me." Maura said, going into the back room, changing out of the scrubs. She didn't realize she forgot her blazer on her chair. "What was it, Jane?" " I just wondered if you wanted to go out for lunch.." Now Jane noticed the new scars at Maura's wrist. "Maura.." Maura looked up at Jane, as she picked up her blazer. "Oh Maura, what have you done..." "You promised not to make any new ones.. Oh Maura .." Maura looked down at her arm. She could see that Jane had started to cry. So did Maura.. "Jane. Is nothing. I just can't control this." Maura's cell ringed. "Excuse me"

AT MAURA'S 19:55

Maura went inside, and almost ran into Ian, who stood waiting for her. "Is it something wrong..? " Maura asked. "Where were you?!" Ian shouted.

"..I-I was at work" Maura said, trying to get pass him. But Ian just pushed her into the door. Maura dropped her purse. "Ian?" Before she could think, he grabbed her waist. Pushing her onto the couch. "Undress." He said. Maura gave him an unpleasant look. "UNDRESS!" Maura fell off the couch, going backwards until she met the wall. "Are you deaf, or?!" He started ripping of her clothes. Maura started screaming, but then he took his fist and hit her.

NEXT MORNING

Maura was in bed, Ian had left for so going to Europe on a business trip. She had cried herself to sleep. Then she heard the coffee machine. She stood up from the bed, noticing her legs were bruised. She started to cry even more. She just sat on her bed with her hands well balanced on her knees. The sheets were covered in blood. She laid back in the bed. She called in sick to work.

Maura had laid in bed for a couple of hours, when she suddenly felt a wave of nausea taking over. She ran over to the toilet and emptied her stomach.

Meanwhile, Angela was making breakfast. She went over to Maura's bedroom, but heard some strange groaning out in the bathroom. "Maura..?" She heard the toilet flush, and a white and light green Maura appeared. "Nausea. No comment."

Sorry for the waiting! Hope you guys enjoyed it. I have been busy with school, and yes, I do my homework.


	8. Chapter 8

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

(Just for a reminder, we have gotten to two weeks later)

Maura was gently resting her head on the toilet seat. She was at the Boston PD. but having lunch with Jane and just the smell of it in that case , had made her ill . Maura's life were such a mess. She changed clothes in the restroom. She also redid her makeup. She tried to smile at herself in the mirror, but instead, tears came out. She wiped them quickly away before going back.

Jane sat at her desk worrying about Maura. Jane sat there thinking, until she went over to Maura. She slowly opened the door to Maura's office, finding an asleep Maura, heads down at her desk. Thats sweet, Jane thought. As She went over to Maura and kissed her forehead.

AT MAURA'S

Maura opened her Door carefully and closing it behind her when she heard the shower was on. "Jane?" No answer. The shower went off. Maura went over to her island kitchen, thinking it was maybe Angela or Jane. She felt someone behind her, a hand on her shoulder. She turned. "Ian?!" Maura was terrified. She tried to escape. She felt a hard fist to her face. She fell. Ian had hit her, but why? Maura felt the tears stream down her face. She tried to get up, but she couldn't. She felt the shoe to her rib. He had kicked her, real hard. Then she heard someone lock themselves in to Maura's house. Angela.

Ian dragged Maura up. And not in a warm way, but a harsh and cold one. He pushed her on to the counter. "Pretend like your making tea." Ian said. Maura stood there in shock for a moment, but as soon as Ian smashed his fist on the table, she hurried. Angela entered the room. "Maura, I got some organic juice for you. Since your s- oh hey Ian." Angela smiled giving him a hug. Maura was shaking. Trying to smile. Angela turned away, Ian went over to Maura. ''Oh!'' Angela turned around again. ''I got some organic juice for you, since you were sick.!'' Angela left it on the counter, leaving the house, and went to the guest house. Ian was angry. ''Since you were sick?!'' He grabbed her wrist. Hard enough to give a bruise. He pulled Maura, and threw her like a ragdoll down on the floor. ''If you tell anyone, and I mean anyone about this..'' He ended the sentence poiting at Maura. She tried to stand up, but instead she crawled up on the couch, were she fell asleep

NEXT MORNING. (Sorry there is a lot of 'juming')

Maura found herself laying on the couch. She got up, but had cramps in her side, as well as on her wrists. They were blue. Ian had probably left for work, and for the first time in weeks, it had hit Maura that she wasn't nauseas! Anyways, she went to her bathroom, took a shower and dried herself. Her eyes spotted her scarred arm, at the same time feeling the urge to make new ones. She got dressed, and made sure her long sleeved shirt covered the scars. But what it didnt cover, was the bruises on her wrists, but she didn't notice. Maura locked her door behind her, determined to change locks on her door. Just I in case Ian came back. He kept traveling back and forth from Europe to The US. She couldn't stay in this relation ship, and she knew it. She had thought of this the whole car trip, and now she was locking her car, for so meeting a worried Jane Rizzoli.

"Maura! I was worried sick" Jane exclaimed, hugging her friend. Tight. Maura whined. "Maura, are you ok?" Jane spotted Maura's bruised wrist. "Maura? Is it something you want to tell me?" Maura looked down. "I. It was an accident, I tripped over Bass" Maura said trying to hide her years with a fake smile. Jane knew she was lying, but she didn't want to make her more unhappy. Something was bothering Maura, and Jane wanted to know.

IN THE AUTOPSY

Maura was changing to her scrubs, when she noticed her bruised ribs and sides. Suddenly she felt a harsh cramp in her stomach. She had to hold on to the counter to support her from not falling. First she thought it was menstrual cramps, but this was worse. She was a doctor, so she started to look for signs. She managed to change out from the scrubs, and back into her regular clothes. She ran up to Angela, or she took the elevator and managed to jog towards Angela. "Angela." She stuttered in pain. "I need you to take me to the hospital!" Angela looked at Maura, worried."but I don't drive, I'll call for a cab." Without asking Stanley. She ran out off the cafe.

Ermagerd. Drama. So much drama.


	9. Chapter 9

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

Angela and Maura sat in the cab on there way to the hospital. They had just come in to the cab, when the cramps started to get worse. "Maura, what happened?" Angela asked Maura, nearly sobbing because she was so worried. "I - I don-t know!" Maura couldn't speak. Angela started to rub Maura's back. Finally. After twenty minutes of pain and traffic, they were there. Maura walked in to the hospital with Angela, where Maura got into a wheel chair. The doctors asked Angela what was wrong with Maura. She told them that Maura had cramps in her side. "Did she have any illness or pain before this pain?" The doctors asked while going down the hallway, "Well, she did tend to vomit straight for two weeks." Angela looked down. "When was the vomiting most relevant.?" Angela scratched the back of her head. "Mornings, I guess." The doctor just nodded, and went in to Maura. Angela had to call Jane. She picked up her phone and dialed her daughters number. She didn't pick up. She tried Frost, but he didn't pick up either. No one picked up the phone today.

LATER

Maura woke up one hour later, with a surgeon besides her taking notes. "Oh, your up!" Maura blinked twice, looking down at herself. No sleeves. Scars, everywhere. She started to panic. A nurse came in to the doctor. Whispered something to him, and the surgeon left the room. The Nurse, which was a brunette female, she sat down on a chair besides Maura. Maura sat up in her bed, noticing the cramps in her sides were gone. The nurse held Maura's hand. "I'm terribly sorry." Maura looked at her in a confusing way. "I'm sorry abut your loss.." The nurse continued stroking Maura's arm. "Wha- is Jane dead..?" The nurse looked at her weirdly. "No, I'm sorry but you miscarriage. " Maura's world stood still. She tried to speak but she could just open her mouth. No words came out. "I-I what?" Maura's voice was shaking. "I'm sorry." The nurse said, patting Maura's arm, and she left. So many thoughts ran around in Maura's head. Then Angela came in, hugging Maura. "Oh Maura, I have been so worried, how do you feel?" Maura shook her head. Then the doctor came in again. " by the way, miss Isles, we need to ask you how you got these bruises on your back and wrists... And we also need closer information about your.. Scars." The doctor glanced at Maura's arms. "Mrs. Rizzoli here, told me that you tripped over your turtle." Maura looked up. "Tortoise. And yes, I tripped" She looked down again . The doctor nodded, "and the one on your back.?" The doctor questioned. "It was an accident, that's all." She tried to smile.

AT JANES PLACE

Jane sat in her couch, drinking beer. Four empty bottle, and one shattered into pieces was laying on her table. She emptied her last bottle, and sat it In her collection. "Fuck it." Jane snapped. She was worried sick about Maura. Jane was drunk. And decisions wasn't the best things she could come over, so she decided to go out for a drive. She drove over to Maura's house. She slammed open the mahogany wooded door, and ran in. "Maura!" She shouted. No response. She heard the shower go on. She stumbled up the stairs, tried not to fall, she flung the door to the bathroom open. Maura grabbed the shower-curtain to not slip or fall. Her body was covered in bruises and scars. Maura ripped off the shower curtain, and slipped into the shower. A tiny scream blending with an ouch was let out of Maura's mouth. "Ohmygosh, Maura!" Even though Jane were pretty tipsy, she was sober enough to help her friend up from the shower, she saw Maura's bruises, and fresh cuts. Instead of freaking out, and yelling, she started to slightly kiss her. Maura kissed back, and leaned back into the shower.

NEXT MORNING

Maura woke up on top of Jane, only covered in sheets. She got up, and she felt dizzy when the thought of her miscarriage came up In her head. She didn't even know she was .. Pregnant. Maura sat down, and thought of what would happen, if she didn't loose her unborn child.

Ok so end of this chapter. Sorry I just cut off right at the Rizzles fluff in the shower part. But I promise in chapter (hmm) 15 I will write a flashback to this part. So yeah


	10. Chapter 10

Rizzoli on Isles. Sorry I haven't been updating. I've been busy with school and stuff. So I decided to have a little suprise :) _ Maura started to wonder what would happen if she didn't miscarriage. What if.. Maura sees herself rocking her newborn baby with Jane standing over her shoulder, looking. But there was so many fears upon them. What if Ian came back. She would have got a harsh bruise she would not be able to explain. Like the scars she damaged her skin with, wasn't enough.. She snapped back to reality when a dark silhouette appeared besides the doorstep. ''Hey'' A almost naked Jane Rizzoli said with her deep and raspy voice. She went over to Maura , grabbed her waist and kissed her neck. She could feel the detectives warm breath and her lavender perfume. Maura stepped away. mumbling out a tiny 'don't . The detective looked like she was insulted. ''Well good morning to you too'' Maura sighed. ''Sorry, its just..'' Jane Also sighed over Maura not understanding her sarcasm. Maura went over to Jane's bedroom and took on her Gucci dress and Louis Vuitton shoes. Jane went after her. '' Are you going home already?'' Jane sounded like a five year old not wanting their visitors to leave. ''Jane,'' Maura said grabbing her purse. ''I am in a relationship'' She went out of the master bedroom, Continuing her sentence. ''Ian will kill me if he found out that I had an affair'' Jane looked down, but they was interrupted by the phone of death. ''Rizzoli'' Jane answered , seconds later we could hear 'Isles'. They both put their phone in their pockets and turned each their way. Jane to get her clothes, and Maura to start her Lexus. They both went each their way. Maura couldn't handle seeing Jane. Nor could the detective. Maura parked her car not long away from the crime scene. So did Jane. They both walked out from the car at the same time. Not giving a look to each other at all. They just straddled their own way. Jane approached the crime scene first. At here a man with carbon black hair, similar to Jane, greeted her with a hug. ''Why are you here?'' Jane commented. ''Hello to you too, Jane!'' The larger man said. ''I'm here because a navy officer was killed'' He smiled towards her. ''Navy?'' It startled Jane. ''But PD doesn't detect navy homicides..?'' Jane looked down. ''Unless..'' The man who knew Jane said. ''Unless what?'' The woman said. ''Unless the PD knew the victim.'' The man went back. Jane heard shoes click behind her -Maura- . Korsak came up to her, patted her shoulder in a relaxing way. Then hugged her. ''I'm Sorry..'' Maura gave him a look that said 'What?' . This wasn't a way Korsak would act. ''Wha-'' Maura Pushed him out of the way. She dropped her medical case and badge when she saw whom was laying there. She wasn't sad but lighter disturbed. Jane came towards her to push her away, lightly though. Maura was dead serious, but seconds later she started to cry. She crashed into tears. Her Million Leux mascara was no longer on her lashes, but running down her cheeks. She couldn't believe Ian was dead. No matter how much he had beaten her, she still knew she loved him. Deep in, she knew it. ''Look, I am going to call Ma, and get her to pick you up'' Maura looked up at Jane. A look that said; Don't go. Stay with me, hug me. Tight. And so she did. ''I would dig my eyes out if that helped to go home with you. But Cavanough wants me to solve this case, and will fire me if I don't do anything.'' She backed out from the hug, and called her Mother. Maura sat in Jane's car waiting for Angela to show up. Jane went over to her, inside the car. ''Look, this must be more than hard for you-'' Jane looked at her shoes, and then back into Maura's hazel eyes. ''-But, we have to find the bastard whom killed him.'' Maura nodded deeply while she was sobbing. Angela drove upwards the crime scene, and a tear-wet Maura Isles went into her car, whilst Jane followed her. ''Look'' She bent down besides Maura's car window. ''It's going to be fine.'' Jane kissed Maura's head _ Sorry for the loooong waiting! My computer has it easily to shut down and school has been busy with exams etc. Hope you understand. :) Can you guess who Jane's cousin is? The person that guesses right will get the opportunity to co-write and decide the way Ian showed up dead.


	11. Chapter 11

RIZZOLI AND ISLES

So planning with the winner of guess who Jane's cousin is was fun! I was so excited to see you all guess! :) And/or if you would guess though. Also I got a newRIZZOLI AND ISLES

So planning with the winner of guess who Jane's cousin is was fun! I was so excited to see you all guess! :) And/or if you would guess though. Also I got a new computer! And guess what? - It's Pink!:D Anyroad.. This Will bee long chapter BTW ! :)

In the crime scene

Korsak, Jane and Frost stood in the background of the crime scene, waiting for the NCIS team to finish up. All Jane could think off, was Maura. In how much grief she was in. She just wanted to hold her in her arms, be the shoulder to cry on. Kiss he- Her thoughts was interrupted by Her cousin. Tony went over to Jane. ''So where are you staying for the night?'' Jane asked whilst walking towards Tony whit a tiny grin on her face, not noticeable of course. ''Oh, I'm staying at a motel not far from here. This case is going to take for a while.'' Jane looked down at her shoes, thinking why Ian was killed. The bad part was that the NCIS were going to investigate it, and not Jane. She wanted to find out who killed Ian, and made Maura so unhappy and filled with grief. ''I'm sure you can stay at my Ma's guest house?''questioned. ''Guest house?'' Tony looked confused. Last time he was there he couldn't remember that the Rizzoli's had a guest house. ''My friend Dr. Maura Isles is helping my mother out'' Jane smiled, but still worried over the homicide. 'Maura Isles, the victims wife?'' Jane looked up, angrily. A silent 'no' was left out. ''They were together. Ian moved to Maura's house not so long ago.'' Tony nodded, while Jane showed him the way to Maura's guest house.

Angela and Maura was home in Maura's house, and Angela led Maura towards the kitchen island. ''I am so sorry Maura'' Angela patted her knee. Maura wiped away a few tears that were racing down her cheek, towards her chin. ''If there is anything you want -Angela continued- just tell.'' Maura looked up towards the mother of her best friend, meeting her kind eyes. She now understood where Jane had gotten her eyes from. ''All I need right now'' Maura said between her sobbing. ''Is to be alone'' She tried to smile, but failed. Angela looked at her for the last time before she went over to the guest house meeting an irritated Jane Rizzoli and an ashamed Tony DiNozzo.

Maura's sobs were no longer to be heard. She had switched out the grief with another familiar pain that was able to push the grief and sobs far away.. The razor. This was the only way Maura could handle her pain with. It had been such a long time since the last time. The feeling was so good. Though Jane would be so mad at her. She did not care.

Many people would wonder why she would grief over someone whom had hurt her so bad. Maura herself didn't know why she did it. Without thinking over what she was doing, she noticed that at least 20 new scars on each arm was visible down her wrists. Blood was everywhere. She heard Jane enter Maura's house because of her familiar voice. But there also was another one.

Maura stood up on shaky legs, trying to stand up without falling. She knew the other voice, but couldn't set her mind on who it was. She let her body Weight fall onto the counter as she quickly put on a long sleeved sweater.

She slowly unlocked herself from the bathroom checking her makeup as she walked through the hallway trying to put a smile on her face.

Maura showed herself in the entrance of the kitchen. She saw Jane and the back of the head on a man. She didn't know why she had recognized his voice. She did not recognize the man himself. ''Maura.. I'm sorry..' Jane looked down. So did Maura, trying hard not to cry. ''This is Special Agent Tony DiNozzo from the NCIS team'' Jane dragged Tony over. As Jane said his name, Maura felt her face turn pale white as her head shot up. 'Try to look normal' She thought. The NCIS agent turned around looking just as shocked as the ME five feet away. ''K-k-k - Kate?'' Maura felt the tears rushing towards her eyes like a bullet. Nothing but a little tear came out of her eye. She quickly wiped it away.

Jane looked like a question mark. ''Can we get a moment?'' DiNozzo asked Jane. Jane nodded slowly, and went away. DiNozzo now saw the blood stain on Maura's sweater sleeve. It was her, he thought. ''Kate. I know it's you.'' Maura felt the tears press on her eyes, as she collapsed into DiNozzos arms, letting out her feelings, and cried her eyes out. He just patted her back and stroke it in circle motions. ''But.. I saw you were killed.'' DiNozzo paused. Maura dragged herself out from the hug. ''I..'' She sat down on her kitchen podium. DiNozzo's face described that he wanted her to explain. He sat himself down next to her. She took her time and breathed out.

''I.. When Ari was after me, he had said to his sniper to whenever they saw me, that they should take the chance and shoot. My twin-sister was going over to the NCIS to ask where I was.. But as soon as she got there, Gibbs thought it was -Well- me.. And without saying anything, my sister knew that if she went there, I would live, but maybe not her. She risked her life for me Tony..'' Tony shook his head. He couldn't believe it. All these years, Kate had been alive. ''But why did you hide? Why didn't you come to your sister's funeral?'' Tony's voice got aggressive. They both was standing now. Maura got shaky. ''The witness protection service.'' Maura couldn't breath. She had always been the though one. But when she was haunted with her childhood she decided to change herself to Caitlin Todd. But when she got ''Killed'' She changed back. She wanted herself back. So the witness protection plan helped her. But Maura would never be herself again..

Tony gazed at her, but then hugged her again. He was the only one in the NCIS that knew that something was wrong. Not with her, but her mood. It had changed from the happy Kate to the Kate that was happy, but everyone could tell something was wrong. She was not happy. He couldn't stop looking at her sleeve. The blood stain. It had gotten bigger. Maura caught him looking. She hid her arms, and stepped a step back. Looked down as her face frowned. Tony took his index finger, and lifted up her chin. He took her hand, and lifted up her sleeve. His eyes grew bigger, and Maura looked away, covering her face with her free hand. She just wanted to get this over with.

*Flashback*

Kate is sitting by her desk, her head firmly placed in her hand. She was tugged in in a long sleeve. She only had two pairs, and it was summer. The hottest day on earth. But if she took off her sweater, her newly made scars would make every ones eyes pop up. All from her wrist to her elbow was covered in deep, almost brown scars. One that was deep, re-opened. With Kate knowing, her cream colored sweater turned a drastic color change. Tony noticed this. It was late, so only she him and Ducky was in the building.

When Tony noticed this, he jumped up. ''Kate!'' This made her jump too. Had he noticed her scars? Did he know? This was the thoughts that appeared in Kate's head. ''Kate you are bleeding!'' She grabbed her arm.

*Flashback over*

''Kate..'' Tony just stared at her wrist. ''Please'' Maura said, sobbing again. She grabbed her wrist, dragging her sleeve down. She didn't want him to look anymore. ''It was an accident'' It was used up. The excuse for having deep scratches on her arm's. Tony looked at her. ''Please, just go.'' Maura dragged herself out from the scene, and Tony stood there. ''I can't do it anymore.'' Maura grabbed her wrist. Whining in pain. ''Kate. Let me help you'' Maura didn't know what was happening at the moment. She was scared. She was having a panic attack. Tony went over to her, while saying that he was here, thar he cared. He touched her arm, but was shocked when Maura let out a screaming 'Don't touch me!'

Jane and Angela was in the kitchen talking about when Tony and Jane were small, how they played Cop and thief. And how Jane always wound up hurting Tony in some way, and Frankie had to get help. They laughed of all these memories, when they suddenly heard Maura scream. Jane checked if her gun was where it was before she rushed into Maura's house. ''Maura!'' She saw Tony trying to comfort her where on the couch they both was sitting. Maura crying like a schoolgirl. Jane lowered her gun. Walking slowly towards them. ''Uhm..''

Maura had finally stopped crying. Now Jane saw the bloodstain on Maura's sleeve. She was angry and sad with her best-friend. She knew that being angry at Maura wasn't the best solution. She wanted to wait til Tony left.

''Uh, Tony. Maybe you should come back later so Maura can rest.'' Tony nodded and hugged Maura and then left. Jane sat next to Maura, after Tony left. It was an awkward silence between the 'Best friends'. ''Maura. I know that.. It is hard for you.'' Maura looked up. ''I know that loosing Ian was not the easiest thing'' She continued. ''But I don't think that blaming yourself.. Is not the right decision.'' Jane looked into her eyes. But her eyes wouldn't look back. Maura knew that what she had done was bad.. Not only towards herself, but she didn't know it was hurting people around her. She felt like a failure. All she wanted was just to disappear. Angela knew the girls wanted to be alone, so she went towards back into the guest house. Maura was scared about what that would come next.

She knew that Jane wasn't going to hurt her like Ian. She still had those bruises on her wrists. Along with some of her faded scars. In a surprising way, Jane grabbed the blondes hands a little too fast. It made Maura whine. Letting out a little 'ouch'. Jane looked her in her eyes. ''Look. I'll be here for you'' Maura looked her back into her eyes. Jane looked down at Maura's wrists. ''Just look.'' Maura once again looked away with tears in her eyes. She felt Jane dragging up her sleeves. The scars. Old, and new. Fresh and faded. Some of the new ones were still bleeding a little bit. ''Maura. Can you tell me how you got those bruises on your wrist and back. And why you took the cab to the hospital. Now Maura started to cry more.

Finally after some minutes of crying, she decided it was time. Time to tell Jane what was going on before. ''When Ian came back, I was thrilled. So happy. Then one night after I had been to work, I came home a while after the usual time. I got home, and he pushed me against the wall'' Maura had to take a brake to breath and memorize. ''He took my wrists and threw me on the floor. Then asked me to get up and...'' Jane was crying too now. Her best friend was being hurt by her boyfriend, hit. And Jane didn't do a dam'n thing. She wanted to get angry, but decided -again- not. She let her finish. ''..He asked me to get undressed.. He..He raped me.. '' Maura both Jane was crying . ''Oh Maura..'' Jane hugged her. ''I woke up one morning with nausea. It lasted for two weeks, than he came back.'' Jane wasn't sure if she wanted to hear any more. ''He got furious when he found out that I had been sick. He threw me down to the floor, he kicked my ribs.''

Jane wanted to listen. For her best friend. ''I started getting cramps in my sides. Worse than a stomach ache. I took a cab with your mother to the hospital'' Jane wiped away her tears, looking at her friend. ''The doctor told me that..'' Maura was at the point of breaking down. ''I had a miscarriage'' Jane gasped looking at her friend. ''Maura, I didn't know you were pregnant'' Maura looked up. ''Neither did I''

NEXT MORNING

Jane was still shocked. But she had to ask Maura to talk to Tony. When she thought of it, why did he call her 'Kate'? She didn't want to bring that up now. Maura was in a state of shock too. She got up from her bed and called him. ''Tony, did you ask Maura anything about the victim?'' Tony replied with a no.

Some moments later Tony went up to Maura's house. ''Kate?'' He silently yelled. ''Are you in here?'' Maura showed up only wearing her night gown.''I prefer that you call me Maura. Kate is dead'' Tony nodded. I need to get some closer information on the victim'' Maura nodded and guided him to the couch. ''What do you want to know?'' Maura tried not to cry. ''Well, where were you Monday night 21:03?'' Maura didn't reply. She couldn't. If she lied, she would get urticaria. (Hives). ''I.. Don't remember.'' She was stupid, she thought. Lying, she could feel the hives coming up. ''Why is that?'' Tony questioned. ''I consumed a large amount of alcohol that night'' Maura's hives were getting redder and larger. ''Can we get Jane here?''

Maura had almost started to hyperventilate, but she got more relaxed when Jane stopped by. She entered the livingroom. ''Jane.' Maura was on the verge of tears. ''I have to tell you something,'' Maura paused. Tony and Jane sat on the sofa. ''Ian had to pack up some things for Africa, and send them.'' Maura wiped a single tear that had escaped her eye. ''I decided to help him'' Now more tears escaped. It was silence. ''Did you know what was in the boxes?'' Tony asked. ''No.. Probably some medicine to help the needing children'' Maura looked down. Tony called NCIS and asked them to go back to the crime scene to look after some boxes. ''What did you do after that?'' Tony questioned. ''I went home and..'' She didn't finish the sentence. They understood. Tony received another call. From Ducky.

''DiNozzo''

''Anthony, are you with Dr. Isles now?''

''Uhm, yeah. Why?''

He could hear him lay the scalpel on the autopsy table.

''Abby found out that the hair stray on the Ice Pick he was killed with..''

''Yeah?''

''It matches Maura Isles 10 % and a certain Patrick Doyle 90%''

'Okay.. Thanks''

He hung up. ''Dr. Isles, I'm sorry to say this but'' He stood up. ''You are under temporary arrest for maybe helping Patrick Doyle for the murder of Ian.'' Before he could take up the handcuffs, Jane stopped him. ''What?!'' Maura said. ''Why?'' Jane asked. ''Abby found the DNA match on the hair stray we found on Ian. It matches Maura 10% and Patrick Doyle 90%'' Tony tried to get pass Jane. Maura spoke up. ''Maybe because I am his biological daughter'' Tony dropped the handcuffs called Abby and told her. ''Then I guess Paddy is our murderer'' Jane said quietly. Maura couldn't hold back her tears.

NEXT DAY

Maura wanted to speak with Paddy, so she went to the BPD with Jane. Now he was sitting in front of them. Maura just sat in tears the whole time. ''Why did you kill him?'' Jane says coldly. ''I saw he was going with Maura. And I thought he was going to hurt her. '' Paddy answers glancing at Maura. ''Why did you think that?!'' Maura tries. ''I know he's been hurting you.'' Maura covered her face in shame. He showed them the snapshot's his gang had taken. ''I went over to warn him that if he did this again- he would regret'' . Jane nods slowly. Surprised that Paddy was protective with Maura. ''He thought I was going to kill him. So he pointed a gun at me'' Maura gasped over the fact that Ian was armed. ''It was self defence.'' Jane looks down while she whispers. ''Let him go''

Maura just dropped dead on the couch when she got home. Her whole body hurt. She felt empty but how could she let this go on? Him beating her? She didn't want anything with his funeral to do either. She knew she hated her biological father for all the people he had killed. But even though she hated him, she found it calming to know that he wanted the best for her. Although it wasn't very brave to kill Ian..

So so sooo sorry it took a while! But I didn't know how to end it, but I spent a lot of time thinking, and planning! I know It's sort of an harsh end. Reviews/thoughts?

computer! And guess what? - It's Pink!:D Anyroad.. This Will bee long chapter BTW ! :)

In the crime scene

Korsak, Jane and Frost stood in the background of the crime scene, waiting for the NCIS team to finish up. All Jane could think off, was Maura. In how much grief she was in. She just wanted to hold her in her arms, be the shoulder to cry on. Kiss he- Her thoughts was interrupted by Her cousin. Tony went over to Jane. ''So where are you staying for the night?'' Jane asked whilst walking towards Tony whit a tiny grin on her face, not noticeable of course. ''Oh, I'm staying at a motel not far from here. This case is going to take for a while.'' Jane looked down at her shoes, thinking why Ian was killed. The bad part was that the NCIS were going to investigate it, and not Jane. She wanted to find out who killed Ian, and made Maura so unhappy and filled with grief. ''I'm sure you can stay at my Ma's guest house?''questioned. ''Guest house?'' Tony looked confused. Last time he was there he couldn't remember that the Rizzoli's had a guest house. ''My friend Dr. Maura Isles is helping my mother out'' Jane smiled, but still worried over the homicide. 'Maura Isles, the victims wife?'' Jane looked up, angrily. A silent 'no' was left out. ''They were together. Ian moved to Maura's house not so long ago.'' Tony nodded, while Jane showed him the way to Maura's guest house.

Angela and Maura was home in Maura's house, and Angela led Maura towards the kitchen island. ''I am so sorry Maura'' Angela patted her knee. Maura wiped away a few tears that were racing down her cheek, towards her chin. ''If there is anything you want -Angela continued- just tell.'' Maura looked up towards the mother of her best friend, meeting her kind eyes. She now understood where Jane had gotten her eyes from. ''All I need right now'' Maura said between her sobbing. ''Is to be alone'' She tried to smile, but failed. Angela looked at her for the last time before she went over to the guest house meeting an irritated Jane Rizzoli and an ashamed Tony DiNozzo.

Maura's sobs were no longer to be heard. She had switched out the grief with another familiar pain that was able to push the grief and sobs far away.. The razor. This was the only way Maura could handle her pain with. It had been such a long time since the last time. The feeling was so good. Though Jane would be so mad at her. She did not care.

Many people would wonder why she would grief over someone whom had hurt her so bad. Maura herself didn't know why she did it. Without thinking over what she was doing, she noticed that at least 20 new scars on each arm was visible down her wrists. Blood was everywhere. She heard Jane enter Maura's house because of her familiar voice. But there also was another one.

Maura stood up on shaky legs, trying to stand up without falling. She knew the other voice, but couldn't set her mind on who it was. She let her body Weight fall onto the counter as she quickly put on a long sleeved sweater.

She slowly unlocked herself from the bathroom checking her makeup as she walked through the hallway trying to put a smile on her face.

Maura showed herself in the entrance of the kitchen. She saw Jane and the back of the head on a man. She didn't know why she had recognized his voice. She did not recognize the man himself. ''Maura.. I'm sorry..' Jane looked down. So did Maura, trying hard not to cry. ''This is Special Agent Tony DiNozzo from the NCIS team'' Jane dragged Tony over. As Jane said his name, Maura felt her face turn pale white as her head shot up. 'Try to look normal' She thought. The NCIS agent turned around looking just as shocked as the ME five feet away. ''K-k-k - Kate?'' Maura felt the tears rushing towards her eyes like a bullet. Nothing but a little tear came out of her eye. She quickly wiped it away.

Jane looked like a question mark. ''Can we get a moment?'' DiNozzo asked Jane. Jane nodded slowly, and went away. DiNozzo now saw the blood stain on Maura's sweater sleeve. It was her, he thought. ''Kate. I know it's you.'' Maura felt the tears press on her eyes, as she collapsed into DiNozzos arms, letting out her feelings, and cried her eyes out. He just patted her back and stroke it in circle motions. ''But.. I saw you were killed.'' DiNozzo paused. Maura dragged herself out from the hug. ''I..'' She sat down on her kitchen podium. DiNozzo's face described that he wanted her to explain. He sat himself down next to her. She took her time and breathed out.

''I.. When Ari was after me, he had said to his sniper to whenever they saw me, that they should take the chance and shoot. My twin-sister was going over to the NCIS to ask where I was.. But as soon as she got there, Gibbs thought it was -Well- me.. And without saying anything, my sister knew that if she went there, I would live, but maybe not her. She risked her life for me Tony..'' Tony shook his head. He couldn't believe it. All these years, Kate had been alive. ''But why did you hide? Why didn't you come to your sister's funeral?'' Tony's voice got aggressive. They both was standing now. Maura got shaky. ''The witness protection service.'' Maura couldn't breath. She had always been the though one. But when she was haunted with her childhood she decided to change herself to Caitlin Todd. But when she got ''Killed'' She changed back. She wanted herself back. So the witness protection plan helped her. But Maura would never be herself again..

Tony gazed at her, but then hugged her again. He was the only one in the NCIS that knew that something was wrong. Not with her, but her mood. It had changed from the happy Kate to the Kate that was happy, but everyone could tell something was wrong. She was not happy. He couldn't stop looking at her sleeve. The blood stain. It had gotten bigger. Maura caught him looking. She hid her arms, and stepped a step back. Looked down as her face frowned. Tony took his index finger, and lifted up her chin. He took her hand, and lifted up her sleeve. His eyes grew bigger, and Maura looked away, covering her face with her free hand. She just wanted to get this over with.

*Flashback*

Kate is sitting by her desk, her head firmly placed in her hand. She was tugged in in a long sleeve. She only had two pairs, and it was summer. The hottest day on earth. But if she took off her sweater, her newly made scars would make every ones eyes pop up. All from her wrist to her elbow was covered in deep, almost brown scars. One that was deep, re-opened. With Kate knowing, her cream colored sweater turned a drastic color change. Tony noticed this. It was late, so only she him and Ducky was in the building.

When Tony noticed this, he jumped up. ''Kate!'' This made her jump too. Had he noticed her scars? Did he know? This was the thoughts that appeared in Kate's head. ''Kate you are bleeding!'' She grabbed her arm.

*Flashback over*

''Kate..'' Tony just stared at her wrist. ''Please'' Maura said, sobbing again. She grabbed her wrist, dragging her sleeve down. She didn't want him to look anymore. ''It was an accident'' It was used up. The excuse for having deep scratches on her arm's. Tony looked at her. ''Please, just go.'' Maura dragged herself out from the scene, and Tony stood there. ''I can't do it anymore.'' Maura grabbed her wrist. Whining in pain. ''Kate. Let me help you'' Maura didn't know what was happening at the moment. She was scared. She was having a panic attack. Tony went over to her, while saying that he was here, thar he cared. He touched her arm, but was shocked when Maura let out a screaming 'Don't touch me!'

Jane and Angela was in the kitchen talking about when Tony and Jane were small, how they played Cop and thief. And how Jane always wound up hurting Tony in some way, and Frankie had to get help. They laughed of all these memories, when they suddenly heard Maura scream. Jane checked if her gun was where it was before she rushed into Maura's house. ''Maura!'' She saw Tony trying to comfort her where on the couch they both was sitting. Maura crying like a schoolgirl. Jane lowered her gun. Walking slowly towards them. ''Uhm..''

Maura had finally stopped crying. Now Jane saw the bloodstain on Maura's sleeve. She was angry and sad with her best-friend. She knew that being angry at Maura wasn't the best solution. She wanted to wait til Tony left.

''Uh, Tony. Maybe you should come back later so Maura can rest.'' Tony nodded and hugged Maura and then left. Jane sat next to Maura, after Tony left. It was an awkward silence between the 'Best friends'. ''Maura. I know that.. It is hard for you.'' Maura looked up. ''I know that loosing Ian was not the easiest thing'' She continued. ''But I don't think that blaming yourself.. Is not the right decision.'' Jane looked into her eyes. But her eyes wouldn't look back. Maura knew that what she had done was bad.. Not only towards herself, but she didn't know it was hurting people around her. She felt like a failure. All she wanted was just to disappear. Angela knew the girls wanted to be alone, so she went towards back into the guest house. Maura was scared about what that would come next.

She knew that Jane wasn't going to hurt her like Ian. She still had those bruises on her wrists. Along with some of her faded scars. In a surprising way, Jane grabbed the blondes hands a little too fast. It made Maura whine. Letting out a little 'ouch'. Jane looked her in her eyes. ''Look. I'll be here for you'' Maura looked her back into her eyes. Jane looked down at Maura's wrists. ''Just look.'' Maura once again looked away with tears in her eyes. She felt Jane dragging up her sleeves. The scars. Old, and new. Fresh and faded. Some of the new ones were still bleeding a little bit. ''Maura. Can you tell me how you got those bruises on your wrist and back. And why you took the cab to the hospital. Now Maura started to cry more.

Finally after some minutes of crying, she decided it was time. Time to tell Jane what was going on before. ''When Ian came back, I was thrilled. So happy. Then one night after I had been to work, I came home a while after the usual time. I got home, and he pushed me against the wall'' Maura had to take a brake to breath and memorize. ''He took my wrists and threw me on the floor. Then asked me to get up and...'' Jane was crying too now. Her best friend was being hurt by her boyfriend, hit. And Jane didn't do a dam'n thing. She wanted to get angry, but decided -again- not. She let her finish. ''..He asked me to get undressed.. He..He raped me.. '' Maura both Jane was crying . ''Oh Maura..'' Jane hugged her. ''I woke up one morning with nausea. It lasted for two weeks, than he came back.'' Jane wasn't sure if she wanted to hear any more. ''He got furious when he found out that I had been sick. He threw me down to the floor, he kicked my ribs.''

Jane wanted to listen. For her best friend. ''I started getting cramps in my sides. Worse than a stomach ache. I took a cab with your mother to the hospital'' Jane wiped away her tears, looking at her friend. ''The doctor told me that..'' Maura was at the point of breaking down. ''I had a miscarriage'' Jane gasped looking at her friend. ''Maura, I didn't know you were pregnant'' Maura looked up. ''Neither did I''

NEXT MORNING

Jane was still shocked. But she had to ask Maura to talk to Tony. When she thought of it, why did he call her 'Kate'? She didn't want to bring that up now. Maura was in a state of shock too. She got up from her bed and called him. ''Tony, did you ask Maura anything about the victim?'' Tony replied with a no.

Some moments later Tony went up to Maura's house. ''Kate?'' He silently yelled. ''Are you in here?'' Maura showed up only wearing her night gown.''I prefer that you call me Maura. Kate is dead'' Tony nodded. I need to get some closer information on the victim'' Maura nodded and guided him to the couch. ''What do you want to know?'' Maura tried not to cry. ''Well, where were you Monday night 21:03?'' Maura didn't reply. She couldn't. If she lied, she would get urticaria. (Hives). ''I.. Don't remember.'' She was stupid, she thought. Lying, she could feel the hives coming up. ''Why is that?'' Tony questioned. ''I consumed a large amount of alcohol that night'' Maura's hives were getting redder and larger. ''Can we get Jane here?''

Maura had almost started to hyperventilate, but she got more relaxed when Jane stopped by. She entered the livingroom. ''Jane.' Maura was on the verge of tears. ''I have to tell you something,'' Maura paused. Tony and Jane sat on the sofa. ''Ian had to pack up some things for Africa, and send them.'' Maura wiped a single tear that had escaped her eye. ''I decided to help him'' Now more tears escaped. It was silence. ''Did you know what was in the boxes?'' Tony asked. ''No.. Probably some medicine to help the needing children'' Maura looked down. Tony called NCIS and asked them to go back to the crime scene to look after some boxes. ''What did you do after that?'' Tony questioned. ''I went home and..'' She didn't finish the sentence. They understood. Tony received another call. From Ducky.

''DiNozzo''

''Anthony, are you with Dr. Isles now?''

''Uhm, yeah. Why?''

He could hear him lay the scalpel on the autopsy table.

''Abby found out that the hair stray on the Ice Pick he was killed with..''

''Yeah?''

''It matches Maura Isles 10 % and a certain Patrick Doyle 90%''

'Okay.. Thanks''

He hung up. ''Dr. Isles, I'm sorry to say this but'' He stood up. ''You are under temporary arrest for maybe helping Patrick Doyle for the murder of Ian.'' Before he could take up the handcuffs, Jane stopped him. ''What?!'' Maura said. ''Why?'' Jane asked. ''Abby found the DNA match on the hair stray we found on Ian. It matches Maura 10% and Patrick Doyle 90%'' Tony tried to get pass Jane. Maura spoke up. ''Maybe because I am his biological daughter'' Tony dropped the handcuffs called Abby and told her. ''Then I guess Paddy is our murderer'' Jane said quietly. Maura couldn't hold back her tears.

NEXT DAY

Maura wanted to speak with Paddy, so she went to the BPD with Jane. Now he was sitting in front of them. Maura just sat in tears the whole time. ''Why did you kill him?'' Jane says coldly. ''I saw he was going with Maura. And I thought he was going to hurt her. '' Paddy answers glancing at Maura. ''Why did you think that?!'' Maura tries. ''I know he's been hurting you.'' Maura covered her face in shame. He showed them the snapshot's his gang had taken. ''I went over to warn him that if he did this again- he would regret'' . Jane nods slowly. Surprised that Paddy was protective with Maura. ''He thought I was going to kill him. So he pointed a gun at me'' Maura gasped over the fact that Ian was armed. ''It was self defence.'' Jane looks down while she whispers. ''Let him go''

Maura just dropped dead on the couch when she got home. Her whole body hurt. She felt empty but how could she let this go on? Him beating her? She didn't want anything with his funeral to do either. She knew she hated her biological father for all the people he had killed. But even though she hated him, she found it calming to know that he wanted the best for her. Although it wasn't very brave to kill Ian..

So so sooo sorry it took a while! But I didn't know how to end it, but I spent a lot of time thinking, and planning! I know It's sort of an harsh end. Reviews/thoughts?


End file.
